There was a time in my life when I could close my eyes and couldn’t see a thing. There were no dreams,no joy,no pain, nothing, just existence. Looking back, I thought I was happy, and trust me when I say I really did think I was happy. In my lifeless existence, I did so many things to convince myself that I was okay. When those things weren’t enough anymore, I said it loudly just to make sure I could hear it. Today I was doing one of the things that I enjoy doing. For many, it is considered a tedious chore, but for me, it is therapeutic and exciting. While I was doing that, I realized that I am okay and that when I close my eyes, I can see so many things. When I close my eyes, I have so many dreams. When my eyes are open, I can feel the peace more than I can describe. Then I realized something else—that I had had this feeling for a while. The realization that I have been happy for so many months, and then here is my favorite part: as the days go by, it gets better. I cannot describe how grateful I am for this healing journey; it has been an amazing run. There are so many things I could mention that I have learned to appreciate,but the most important one is that I have to be present right now. When the sun rises, I have learned to appreciate the morning chills. I have learned to enjoy the morning routine. When it rains, I remind myself of how it used to feel when I used to love the sound of raindrops. Oh, the beauty of the sunset, the rush hour, the beginning of darkness, and the cold at night. I have embraced the beauty of it all, and I can truly say that I am happy. I am happy that I made the choice. I am happy that I chose me. I am grateful that I left so I could be happy, and I have achieved that. I am happy. Now, when I close my eyes, I have so much I can see and so much I can dream about. And when I open my eyes, I can see what is right in front of me without missing any of it. When I look up at the sky, I know it reflects on the waters below, and that’s what I want for my life. To look at what I want and realize it’s exactly what I have right here.
