It is said that there is no secret between two people. While this might be true, how do secrets get leaked out to the public. That’s why I advise anyone to Kiss and not tell. Whenever you get caught up in something questionable, always be the first to protect yourself. If the other party leaks the secret, then it becomes their word against yours. In case, the other party lacks material evidence to back up their story, then you can dismiss the story as a rumour. The reason why I write about this particular topic is to share my wisdom with individuals like myself who suffer from a disorder known as moral perfectionism. Moral perfectionism is desiring to have a clean moral slate at all times. Such individuals will go a long way to clean their moral slates, including airing their dirty secrets.
For instance, I watched a popular talk show where a lady confessed of having ‘stolen’ another woman’s husband. The couple were blessed with two children and had a blissful marriage. One day the lady had an epiphany that her life would be better if she ‘returned’ the said husband and waited for God to give her a husband of your own. Note that I am not one to make fun of other people’s life stories. In fact, I appreciate learning of other’s experiences as they provide comfort and useful insights. However, such stories may misguide people to make radical life decisions that will make their lives hard.
It is important to understand that we exist within a society and our actions affect our reputations. Reputations are crucial in building business relationships and most importantly, for mental health. Psychologists’ advice that each person requires a certain degree of illusion to live a normal life. In lay man, we need to lie to ourselves. One way to lie to yourself is to hide your dirty linen from public. Yes, a few people many know some of your dirty secrets such as a criminal past, sexual waywardness, unpaid debts, and failed romantic relationships. However, not every one needs to know these. You are a changed person, working everyday to become better. Savor such secrets for people close to you such as your children, parents, siblings, or a spouse. Deal with your demons in secret and be silent in public. Maintain your cool and don’t feel the need to explain yourself to people. If you are a lady dating a married man and the affair ends, walk away. Clean your moral slate in private and let the rumours of your escapades remain rumours. Do not be your own snitch. Kiss and don’t tell.
