The relentless pursuit of success in one’s twenties, a fervent desire to achieve before reaching a certain age—this societal fixation has become a silent orchestrator of anxiety and self-doubt among the youth. The journey of measuring worth through predefined milestones like college, marriage, and leaving home unfolds as a delusional quest, pushing individuals to believe that being ahead is the only way to escape the clutches of behindness.
For many individuals, the haunting narrative of falling behind echoes relentlessly, shaping the course of their lives. The persistent questions act as mile markers, tracing a path laden with societal expectations — from academic triumphs believed to lead to prosperous careers, subsequently opening the doors to financial security, homeownership, and marriage. The paradox emerges as the looming sense of being behind appears to strip away opportunities rather than propel them forward. This phenomenon is not unique but shared by countless individuals navigating the intricate journey of life.
The societal landscape bombards individuals with reminders of predetermined achievements by specific ages, imposing expectations that dictate accomplishments by twenty-five and financial goals seemingly detached from real-world struggles. This weight of expectations manifests as an unyielding downpour, hindering progress by necessitating the confrontation of numerous unfinished tasks. The rhetoric of societal expectations becomes a formidable force, obscuring individual narratives and turning progress into a challenging ascent against unattainable benchmarks. Amid this orchestrated chaos, the call for authenticity emerges, urging a redefinition of success beyond societal constructs and a reclamation of personal narratives from the relentless grip of perpetual inadequacy.
Our systems of work and education, our obsession with achievements and failures, the brisk conversations centered around being on track—all align with the societal love for order and progress. Yet, the distinction between getting ahead and being on track blurs into a relentless pursuit. The questions arise: Who sets the standards for being ahead or behind, and what purpose does this perpetual race serve?
The intertwining of young adulthood with societal expectations, coupled with the undercurrents of racism, class, and economic factors, often leaves individuals wondering who they are behind and what they are striving to catch up to. It’s a quantifiable phase of life, with likes, GPAs, and résumés serving as constant measures. However, the question lingers—why do we need these measuring sticks? The answer lies in the grip of capitalism, dictating definitions of success, ”behindness”, and the constant chase for an elusive ahead.
In many conversations with fellow young adults, the theme of behindness emerged as a common thread. Stories of individuals behind in school due to challenging circumstances, others feeling behind after setbacks in employment, or the fear of never catching up after life-altering events—we all grapple with this undefined force. The conventional markers of adulthood, timelines for pivotal life events, are evolving, yet the societal expectation to conform to a predefined track remains.
The relentless pursuit of getting ahead becomes a race on an invisible track, where the definition of success is always shifting.
The arrival fallacy, the belief that happiness and stability accompany reaching a goal, perpetuates the idea that whatever we’ve achieved is overshadowed by what lies ahead. The question resounds—amid the sprinting and chasing, who are we when we stand still?
Behindness, is an invention, a construct fueled by aspirations and accomplishments in a world that offers diminishing resources. The perception of what should have been achieved by a certain age often clashes with the unpredictable nature of life. The timelines have changed, and it beckons the query—can our relationship with being behind or ahead evolve with it?
As I reevaluate my own milestones, I contemplate whether they can shape me without defining me, existing within me rather than beyond. When asked about my plans, I find solace in the realization that what I truly want defies measurement, escaping the confines of behind or ahead. Perhaps, in embracing this perspective, I have finally caught up to myself.
Through the lens of personal reflection and shared narratives, I aim to provoke thought about the societal constructs that often lead individuals to perceive themselves as being “behind.” As we navigate the complexities of our own narratives, may we collectively challenge the delusional norms that dictate our paths, and may this exploration serve as a catalyst for embracing a more authentic, personally defined sense of success and fulfillment.
That’s very good
It gets the best and in my opinion all of us. No one would like to glorify failures, we all seek for successes- both young and old alike.
True