I looked in the mirror. There stood a beautiful girl, beautiful in all of her essence. I have been to the bottom of the ocean, where monsters live and survive. I have been to the darkest of places, and I came out shining bright. I have been unable to sleep because the things going on in my life could not let me close my eyes in peace. There are days I sleep more than normal, like no matter what time it is, I can just close my eyes and fall asleep. Not much is said about the seasons—that we are okay, but we aren’t okay. It has been a journey, and an interesting one. For the past few years, the healing process has been amazing, and I have learned a lot of things. I have learned that I can be very indifferent to things. The one thing I had promised myself when I started this journey was that I wasn’t going to let my circumstances change who I am. It takes a lot of strength to accept that the beautiful parts of you are the reason someone hurt you in the first place. It is fascinating how many people change that just so they can protect themselves from future pain. I am a happy girl who is honest and straightforward, and I have a beautiful personality. Have people used that against me in the past? Yes, they have. I chose to accept that just because I got hurt doesn’t mean I should give up the things that define me. So I chose me, and I must say that as soon as I made peace, the universe aligned. Today, when I look in the mirror, I see a happy girl. I see a girl who is content with everything. If there’s something that I learned very fast, no matter what you do, something will always try to drag you back. Days like those chose to focus on the goal, which is being healthy. I wear my scars with pride; no one can shame me for my choices or for the things that happened in my past. I enjoy my wins with so much grace because I have earned every single one of them. My mental health is at a healthy level, my physical health is at a good level, and everything else is where it usually is. I am figuring it out. I like what I see every time I look in the mirror. I love what I feel every day, and I am amazed that I recognize now how much of me is amazing. I am truly happy, and I know that no matter what, this is who I am. This is what makes me, and for that, I get to say I am okay.
