When I was pregnant, my baby daddy took good care of me. The physical chores that needed to be done, he did them without fail. There were other things that he was good at, even being up with the baby the few times we stayed together. Now every time I hear someone say we should pick better people, I wonder if y’a ll think we intentionally date people who hurt us. In the beginning, they are amazing people; they support you, lie to you, and even give you the world.
My friend’s baby daddy was with her until she was five months old,then he left her. When I say he was there, I mean he paid clinics,took her to clinics, and cooked when she couldn’t stand the smell of onions. Then he woke up one day and left her.
Y’all want to blame women for not seeing the red flags; have you thought to ask what was going on? Have you tried to understand why they stayed even when they should have left? More often than not, the man changed; he started behaving differently. So you keep hoping he’ll change. You stay hoping he’ll go back to who he was—loving, caring, and honoring you.
But then it gets worse, and you leave. Then men will now call you low-hanging fruit; they will call you a reject, and if you aren’t keen, you will start to believe it. They will shame you for sleeping with other men, and yet they will shame you more for going back to your baby daddy. They will tell their friends not to date you because, in their small minds, you will still give the man who left a chance. What they don’t know is that a woman strong-willed enough to raise a child or children on their own is a strong woman. So yes, I am never going back to my baby daddy. So every time someone tells me I will go back, I know it’s time to cut them off. It’s time to stop talking about that part of my life with those people. Yes, you can shame me for being a single mom, but you can never shame me for refusing to accept your twisted thought that now I should be celibate. Now I can’t date because I will teach my child promiscuity. That’s where the line is: I am a mother, and I get to have a life. I want to live my life and enjoy my beauty, and no one can take that away from me.
#youcannotshametheshameless
#sokochronicles
#singlemomlife
