After my birthday, I realized that life flies so fast. So much has changed, and there’s no going back from here. So I am more intentional now. I express myself, and because I don’t get to say it in person, I say it in writing. I messed up in my past and waited too long to express myself. On some occasions, I didn’t even get to say it, and in the end, I lost some of the things I wanted. I am more intentional this year; if I am going to lose anything, it will not be because I didn’t say something. It won’t be because I didn’t try; heck, it won’t even be because I wasn’t sure. It will be because it wasn’t meant to be. I am about to be out here, scaling the heights of reality, telling the world my truth. I want to look in the mirror at the end of every day and know that I lived that day to the best of my ability. I want to smile before I fall asleep, knowing that I did everything that was in my power to do that day. On the bad days, I want to have felt the pain and dealt with how I got there in the first place. I want to have tried to make it better, and when it doesn’t get better, I want to have the willpower to accept that there are things I can’t change. The Bible says we don’t get because we don’t ask. Reading that is mind-opening because it goes to say that when we ask, we don’t get because of our motives.
That’s how I have lived in the past; there was no asking. Every time I developed enough strength to ask, it was too late. It’s a new year, and therefore the rules have changed. I will be more intentional, I will be more present, and I will rise above all the fears I have. Everything that I want this year I will get, and those that I lose will not be because I didn’t try.
So I raise a glass to the journey of healing my traumas, rising above my fears, and scaling the heights of my life. No apologies,just a girl finding her space in this word.
Affirmative Sunday.
