True companionship starts with enjoying your own company. Are you the kind of friend that you would like? How do you treat yourself? How do you speak to yourself? Are your kind to yourself, do you devalue yourself yet expect someone else who doesn’t know you the way you know yourself or at least ought to know yourself to value you? Are you your own best cheerleader or you wait for others to cheer you on?
Do you enjoy your own company or do you dread being by yourself and always look for company? If you enjoy your won company then you will make a great friend. Friendship should overflow from your relationship with yourself. Otherwise, if you have a bad relationship with yourself, for instance if you’re constantly talking negatively to yourself then you will just talk the exact same way to others and chances are people will avoid you. No one wants a friend who is constantly criticizing them. If you don’t do things for yourself and wait for others to do them for you, then you become needy. And being needy is not attractive to anybody. If you’re constantly using other people to offload emotionally then you become toxic to people. They feel like you are draining them and that can be very off putting if that’s what you constantly do.
If it’s always a dull moment with you because you don’t know how to deal with your emotions sometimes independently, then you become needy. Nothing wrong with leaning on a friend occasionally, but you can’t be constantly in the same cycle and never getting out. Something is wrong and it needs to be fixed. People are so afraid to sometimes be by themselves yet it is one of the best feelings to be able to spend time on your own. To order your thoughts, to know yourself. Most people don’t know their value and end up thinking that they are not valuable simply because they don’t spend time with themselves. It is important and perfectly okay to enjoy your own company no one should intimidate you with otherwise talk. The more you spend time with yourself, the more you know yourself; what you need to reinforce and what you need to correct.
Life will sometimes force us to be by ourselves especially if we never do it. Through for example sicknesses, abandonment by friends etc. Sometimes this happens in order to bring you back to your true north. But you don’t have to wait for that, just take small steps, it will help you.
Of course, it goes without saying, for anyone who is a consistent or constant loner, they need to get out and mingle. But if you are always having company and never spending time alone then you need to create time to spend alone. It can at times be therapeutic. And especially if you’re always looking for company; any social event you’re there and you probably don’t know anyone there. You look for company just to avoid being alone.
It is important to note that friendship is not just about having somebody there with you. Being surrounded by many people or rather people who don’t even know you or who don’t even care. You want quality friendships that help you level up. Not the ones which after spending time with them your self-esteem is crashed. You come out of there worse than when you went in. Remember true friendship is about quality and not necessarily quantity.
Self love
The message prompts introspection, encouraging individuals to reflect on how they treat themselves and whether they are their own best friend. It highlights the significance of self-talk and self-care, noting that negative self-talk and self-devaluation can affect how one interacts with others and may repel potential friendships.
be your own lover first