I write about literally everything; last year I wrote more about the struggles I was going through. The learning to let go of the pain, my healing process, and the journey through my new chapter. I woke up this morning, and I am at peace. I love myself, I love my child, I love the people in my life, I am loved, and I am whole again.
To be able to say that is power I cannot begin to describe.After my separation, I took time to go heal. I went home to process my new reality. I worked on myself, felt the pain, and am still learning to let go of the behaviors that came with that loss. To forgive myself for the things I did for love, to forgive him for the things that hurt, and even to look at the realities of what transpired.
Broken relationships break a person, and so you build walls to protect yourself from the possibility of it happening. And walls I built. Not realizing how much guarded I was, I continued my life. Then one day it was pointed out how I have a pattern, and I went to reflect. Lo and behold the walls of Jericho, set so tall they weren’t going to break easy.
The reality is most people go back to dating when they have walls to protect them.I am me, and mental health is very important to me. So I went back to the journey of self-therapy. A journey that has taken months longer than I thought. Painful process, if you ask me, because it’s easy to lie to your therapist about these things. It’s easy to tiptoe around your friends when they ask how you are doing. Try lying to yourself and see how that goes.
I woke up this morning very fulfilled. It may have been a long journey, but I am whole again.
I write this with so much pride and joy. I have been to the depths of pain, and now I can smile. Oh to have this moment, to be at peace, and to be grateful.
One advice I can give is to take responsibility for your mistakes. For putting yourself in a position to be hurt, for staying longer than you should have. Accept the things you did wrong and forgive the other person for breaking your trust like that. Forgive those who tried to talk you back into the pain; forgive those that were in a position to help and didn’t. Forgiveness isn’t about letting them go without consequences; it is about letting yourself go. Allow yourself to feel the pain so you can set yourself free from all of it.
Looking back, it took longer than I thought it would. But today I can look back and say this I Prayed For 🥰.
So here’s to the start of a new era, to being happy, to being content, and to experiencing new things. Indeed, the old has gone and the new has come—the start of an era. The most important lesson I have learned is that it’s never too late to unlearn. It takes strength to ask for help. Baby girl era, Happy Girl Era.
