I was born and made a queen but never thought my life would go beyond my imagination and boundaries. What a shock! No a mystery!
On that Sunday, I ignored my five o’clock phone alarm only to find myself opening my eyes at six am. Gosh, I would be late for the morning Rosary devotion before the mass began at seven o’clock. I had to hurry up! On my way to church, I was lost in crazy thoughts. It was not once I had doubted whether God really considered any of my prayers. In my life, happy moments seemed to last only for seconds!”Do you really listen to me God?
I was lost.How on earth would I ever be convinced things would be fine? I found myself uttering Hail Mary along the way to distract the thoughts that would create a somber mood. ” You promised me victory, oh Lord ,I am a winner. I bet I fumbled all the positive words into a joyous songs. It was a struggle, a real battle ragging in my thoughts….”You will win!”but how could things change?”Impossible!” Hail mary full of grace… Mother of Jesus pray for me,tell your son I am grateful for the great things He will do to my life.The positive thoughts someone won.I have always been a happy child of God regardless of what life brought to my table.
“I am a winner, I am victorious! During mass, I sang louder than anyone beside me. I wished to kill every discouraging thought crippling into me.”Matendo yako ni makuu….I didn’t actually know the song really well but I sang stealing words from the projected screens in church.The Hail Mary’s were uncountable even as the priest interpreted the word of God.Sometimes I would wander into my world, craft what next and then travel back. The preacher was still there and would try to capture the little after my long “journey”
My whole body was engulfed in a tingling sensation. It was a stranger yet a familiar feeling. I would experience once in a while in my spiritual life. “No!don’t check, Don’t write anything. Give me two months to work everything out.”
Two months?
How many months did you love?
Two months
Then is it too much to ask you give it that time.Just two months?
Are you for real?
Yes, I am working something out.You are my child, my chosen one and like Jesus, you will triumph.
Two months without saying anything.
Yes just go on with you life.Do all you are supposed to do.I am working out something. I am teaching you patience too but you will see the great things I am about to do.How can I forsake you. Yes trust what I am telling you.
The announcements were being read but all my eyes were closed. I was in a very deep dialogue.I then knew that I was not dreaming. His spirit was present and the conversation flowed as if I was talking with someone physically.
“Stay with me.”
Don’t leave hurriedly this time.”
It was not 1 hour or two hours, we talked all the way from church to home.
“Cleanliness is second to Godliness.Relax your mind and do clean up, I am with you.”
The energy inside me was real and everytime I seemed to doubt….
“Trust me!”
I cleaned the whole house and my clothes. We were still chatting.I have never felt such joy, peace, happiness, comfort. I talked less as instructed.I never checked or replied.I had to obey.
“In two months, you will laugh.My daughter, you will never be ashamed again. I am working on something.”
“Lord I trust in you!”
