Everything choice we make is a direct result of our personal beliefs. That is why most counselling deals with our core beliefs. New and healthier core beliefs lead to better choices. I met this lady who explained to me why they preferred one hair style over the other. She explained it had to do with the shape of her head and how she wants to be perceived by others. It got me thinking if the same applied not only to hair dos but other choices, such as, place of residence, spouse, children, occupation, and socialization habits.
I also read a certain book where the author made a wild claim that each area could be described by one word. The author said that France could be described by romance, America with achievement, London by culture, and Bali by community. This got me to deduce that people living in the same location share similar beliefs which leads to similar choices. Those choices lead to a particular reality that becomes widely accepted as the norm. That is why, outsiders become easy to spot. For instance, if men hang out in particular joints, a man who is not seen in these spots as viewed as odd. In my area, women are known to be dedicated to religious organizations. Almost all women I have talked to are active in events such as funerals. It is odd the kind of commitment people have when a member of the community dies. Funds are pooled together and on the funeral day almost everyone attends. This commitment is so evident that I once visited the market on a funeral day and only a handful of vendors were present. You could think it was a public holiday. As such, beliefs are a clear indicator of the choices that people make.
Such knowledge is key to cure bad choices. Bad choices such as drug abuse, risky sexual behaviour, bad debts, poor choice of friends, social awkwardness, violent behaviour, and poor diets can be dealt with by examining core beliefs. Bad choices are the outcome of bad core beliefs. For example, a lack of selfcare can stem from a bad self-image. If a person thinks they are ugly, they may make less effort in grooming themselves. Their belief is that they are not worth looking at and hence decide to not invest in looking presentable and attractive. Such a belief may have been formed through an abusive relationship where a person who mattered, be it a parent or romantic partner, told them that they were ugly or unworthy. The person may also have consumed information which emphasised that attractiveness was based on qualities they lacked. For instance, in the past, most films featured slim and light-skinned people as attractive. Such content made it appear that plus sized, dark, and short people were dull looking. Consequently, many viewers absorbed such notions forming negative beliefs about their own external appeal.
A close examination of what we term as bad outcomes, will reveal the negative core beliefs for individuals and as societies. For instance, I get concerned whenever I come across alcoholic men in my area. I see these men walking in dirty clothes, swaying from one end of the road to the other as they trace their way home. I listen to their incoherent words and it is easy to fathom that they are convinced that they are victims of circumstances. Most feel helpless in life. They are unaware of the power they hold to turn their lives around. Most will blame their parents or spouses for rejecting them. Others will claim that life has been too stressful. Others will claim that alcohol has so much power over them that they cannot help it. Others only result to alcohol because that is the only coping mechanism available to men like them. I really do not know who will tell them that all those excuses are based on beliefs that are not cast on stone
The truth in this life is that beliefs are formed. As a result, they can be unformed and replaced. It is the responsibility of each individual to constantly update their beliefs as time progresses. The reason for this is to create convenience for oneself and bring life goals within reach. Every person deserves to be content and have progress, which are both not possible if one is enslaved by self-limiting beliefs.
